found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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