Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
