So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
