He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't turn off my feet"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
