I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
