I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
