it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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