i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize