Its about making memories worth repressing
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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