Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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