I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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