Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
