just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize