to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
