dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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