i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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