I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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