Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
