do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize