i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she told me i tasted like america
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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