There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
