how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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