eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
