so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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