I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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