You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
