I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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