You really coming over, don't trick.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
