Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
