why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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