Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize