Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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