She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
