I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
