I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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