I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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