Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
