That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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