Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
