I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize