Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
