bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
