I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
