We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
