There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
