Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
