oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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