ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
