Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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