new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
