I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
