so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize