Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
