We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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