We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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