Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
