I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
