does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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