there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
